current mood : -

am not going to blog for these few days. wanna take a break.. am tired of everything.. recently, i feel myself behaving like a bitch. am hurting every1 around me.. what had happened to me? i tot as long as every1 at my side is happy, i'll be happy.. but y am i the one that hurts them? juz hate me, everyone. hate me.... dun treat me so good...

i wanna go back home... i'm feeling extremely down... st.anne's day celebration is going on there.. if i'm stil there, i'll going to the church with my parents, lighting candles, pray, ask for forgiveness, and hang around with frens. laughing, playing, helping, everything.... i missed those moments a lot...

feel like wanna drunk myself.


current mood : *blurr*

hm, fever had gone down, to 37.2. considered well ba. hate medicines so much, but it looks like we got yuan, i'm alwiz stuck with those medicines for my life time. had been sick twice in a month. gosh! am so PROUD of myself. >.<

but nowadays the weather is not that good here. easily got cold, especially to those weak people. ya, people like me.. but stil, take care ya, every1..

i'm in a totally messed up life. duno what had happen to me, given up hopes on living? no, that cant be. i'm a strong girl. but i really duno.. it's such a messed now. am so blurr of everything. dun wish living.. any warm hands for me to hold?

gonna study in a while. jiayou every1.. we can do it! aja aja fighting!!!!
tomolo going out shopping!!! wanna shop til fullest, b4 pia-ing for exam again...


current mood : so so

Today was not a bad day afterall. hahaha.... i think that i'm the slackest team leader in the world. i only got to know which slides i'm presenting, a few seconds b4 my presentation. haha... who cares.. it's juz a IS module. =p but it's not a disaster at all.. every1 seems to be enjoying the pic, except for Peiwen though, cuz her face appears a lot, and even her name at the receipt too.. haha.. sorry girl, was not purposely doing it. have to show dividence.. =p

i think i'm sick.. i'm feeling extremely cold, my throat is pain, and i'm so dizzy now... wonder what had happen to me. lack of drinking water perhaps? muz get well soon, exams r in 3 weeks time.

had just changed my blogskin. Love this skin though.. it's so sweet, as sweet as sumthing that happens to me lately. but maybe, it's only me, thinking too much for it.. i'm stil under recovery though.. hahaha... as if i'd just undergo some big operations or what, choy!!!! juz wanna re-arrange my life, with those memories kept in heart, 
and never mentioned it again. 

life goes on, and i'm sure i will meet with my mr. right. juz let everything happen naturally..


current mood : *good at last*

phiew............ i'm feeling extremely good now, at least, no more of those projects that r driving me crazy.. I can't take it anymore.. gosh, am so exhausted... 
we r now left with the IS final presentation, on thurs..
but who cares, it only a pass or fail module.. =p

but honestly, i'm really tired of these projects. had put in so much effort in every projects, but the results juz aren't as good as expected.. so disappointed, doubted if i can score a minimum GPA of 3 in this sem. how am i supposed to show my parents my results again? not even an A again? no no, this cant be, wont let this happen. there's stil a chance for me, my final exam.. hm, except ECD though.. haha, juz leave that out, and i can save my GPA through other modules. i cant be so pessimistic, it's juz unlike me, right? no way mannnn...!! =.=

ya, gonna start my revision very soon.. but.. haha, let me take a break for few days? am gonna be crazy if i continue to be like this, feeling my life is so dull. nothing else but those boring projects. since i think i'm going back to my single life again, i can use those times i used to go dating wisely now, which is to study for my final exammm.... but wont do it alone, i think. gonna join at least someone or some frens.

am gonna prove to him, i'm not a useless girl. this is the biggest mistake in his life of letting me go and hurting me so badly. i'm gonna be happy, and be loved by everyone too. am not changing into someone else that suits u, it's just isn't me. i wanna be my old self back, a happy-go-lucky girl. yeah, am not crying for u anymore.

gonna sleep soon le. i think my panda eyes gone worsen.. looks like zombie.. haha.. =x bye!


current mood : -same as previous-  >.<

handed up a project that was driving me crazy for the past few days, ECD. but gosh, am now preparing for tomorrow's presentation for ECD. why is it my life is so dull? nothing else but projects and presentations.. i juz wanna take a break, and throw everything aside...

got my FMS projects result back, but hell... scored badly for it... we had put in so much of effort, and this is what we get, juz passed.. hahaha.. funny! was so pissed off, tears nearly drop, but luckily there's a sweet sms which makes me smile at least. Plus, sumthing funny happen in the end. B4 the tutor pass us back our project, he mentioned sumthing bout Sai Baba and merger... i was thinking, "oh, merger is ours, but who or what's that Sai Baba?" then, suddenly peiwen and serene was laughing while pointing a sentence to me. i read it, and suddenly i burst into laughter, and i really laughed til cried... our topic was merger in the financial sector, and u know what's that quotation about? "Sai Baba: the merger of human love with divine love comes about cosmic order". gosh... was laughing my ass off.... hahahahahahahaha.... how could we not seeing that? that's the last quotation of the page, and it's so obvious.. hahahahahaha...

ya, that's the joke of the day, which makes my day a bit brighter. after that, we started to slack in classes, playing reversi with peiwen, and i won the games again.. muahahaha... =x but was later being di-siao by her non-stop.. felt juz wanna pong her head.. argh!! qi si wo le!! but thanks ya girls, with u all, i think i wont be that sad bout the project le. juz have to try my best in exam, that's all i can do...

gonna sleep early tonight, having presentation early in the morning.. best of lucks to all! nitez!


current mood : -

am too tired these few days. ECD assignmenet 2 is really driving me crazy, had been stuck in this project for so long, and it's not fun at all... this project is a bullshit, the tutorwanted us to give logical numbers, but hey, we r stil student, and how on earth r we getting the capital. at this particular point, it's already not logic. plus, things got worsen when one of my group member is on MC for 8 days. hm.. boyce, wish ya get well soon k?

luckily Mao Mao was there to help us yesterday on the numbers.. i told serene, we're gonna have a math nightmare, with thousands of numbers keep flying in our mind.. hahaha.. kua zhang.. but i really do have a weird dream. hm, cant really remember what's it all about. so far that i concern, i'm not getting enough sleep these few days. am dead tired, felt so stressful. wanna to take a break, go shopping and enjoy myself to the fullest for a day.
 any guy wanna date me on that day? 
*sob sob* poor girl... hahahahaha..

finally had rushed through everything, and we left with the presentation slides to be finished tomorrow. and then wil be our presentation on tues.. gosh... i really cant take a break at all... who said that poly life is a honeymoon? gosh.. then y r we stuck with tonnes of projects and presentations? am getting bored of those...

hahaha.. okie.. enough of complaining.. 
oh, juz played a game of reversi with my fren, 
and i won the game!!
hm, i'm given a chance to pong his head.. hahaha.. but might not be doing so, a bit bu she de ah.. he's so cute and sweet to me.. hahaha.. but the main point is, gosh, i'm so pro in reversi!!! =.=

erm, haha, am sleeping soon.. bye peeps...


current mood : pissed off

i don't know what wrong i've done, i'm feeling extremely tired.. a lot of things happen to me lately, all comes so sudden, so rushing. i'm breaking down le, fang guo wo ba.. stop sending test to me le, Jesus.. i'm really exhausted.. frenship, sch life, love relationship, everything juz doesn't go smoothly.. what is it so? i've tried so hard on everything, really hard...

frenship - i've tried so hard to make my best fren's celebration a joyable occasion, but it juz wont go as smooth as i wanted it to be. there r sum things happen in between, and it really pissed me off. 

schooling life -  i've really tried my best to be a good class rep, but i'm stil a human anyway.. i'm packed with all projects and everything, and that there's sumthing happen to me lately. all these r driving me crazy, and now when i've make a mistake, there r sum people that r blaming me, and even the tutor shoots me in front of the whole class and another tutor. ya, blame me ba! i know it's my mistake, but... is it only me alone? think of it carefully of those who r blaming me. i know those who r, and those who r not. dun worry.. ^^

love life - ok.. 4get bout this. i'm too tired to think of this anymore. really...

so, that's it.. i'm giving up on all these.. not all, but those who r driving me crazy. wanna blame me, wanna talk bad bout me, go ahead... i'm sure the god has eyes, has heart. i stil believe in Him, and that the kind-hearted ones will be loved till the end.

*tired* signing off soon.. byez...

oh ya, last but not least,
HaPpY BiRtHdAy, sErEnE!!!! lOvE yA!!!



current mood : *was ok at first, but am nervous now*

will i stil be alive tomoro? i scared i might get killed by my classmates tomoro... i'm such a useless, forgetful class rep... am so sorry to all.... sorry... really... i dun mean to....

wil be going to seek for my IEF tutor, laotaipo. wil be begging her to let sum of my classmates to go for that financial times talk.. no matter how crazy she shoots me, i will juz close my ears, and take every single words she shooted, and say sorry for more than 100 times.

haha.. brave girl? sorry to all, i'm scared too... i know it's my mistake... but i was not informed for that due date, and all did not gave me ur student number too... but 4get bout that, i won't mention it tomolo. as it will only make things worsen.. Ms. Koh, plz... let me go tomoro k? dun shoot so harsh, can u?

am so nervous now... what shud i do... have been saying sorry to a lot of ppl le, but i stil dun feel good... sorry guys, girls... 

am slacking whole day at west coast with yong hwee.. haha... tot wanna go to the beach and have a great shouting day, to let go everything that troubles me in my mind. but too bad, it's under construction. so we juz played around at there, but there're some games that were really scary, and i shouted it out to the fullest.. haha... was not a bad day... promise yong hwee, after today, am gonna let go of everything, and cheer up once again. that's when the happy-go-lucky girl is back to earth, right? haha.. dun worry, i wil fang xia de... i can do it!! haha...

was waiting til sunset, as he said the sunset scenery there is nice. so we climbed til the top of the pyramid rope. was quite scary though, but i managed to climb it on myself. haha.. yeah yeah.. but was too clumsy, then keep my head keeps on hitting the rope. then yong hwee wil be laughing at the side, evil people alwiz does that, right? =p hahahaha...

but thanks anyway for accompany me slacking... as next whole week will be pia-ing on my final exam, which r around the corner.. 

 nice hor, was so scary, scared the hp might drop, but it's not mine, so not worry that much too.. =p evil.. hahahaha...

 set le set le, sunset le.. LOL! hahahaha....

had a great laugh today too, juz realise that yong hwee did not how to differentiate push and pull ah, then i told him, if he's a girl, he'll killed the baby lo. doctor call to push, then he pull the baby in summore... hahahahahahaha... =p  *muz careful when bumped to him in sch.. haha*

a lot more ba, i also got say stupid things, but i dun think i wanna say it out here... very diu lian ah... haha...

k la, am gonna prepare my "speech" for tomolo le ah... Ms. Koh, really.. fang gou wo ba, okie?
wish me luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


current mood : not bad

hm... was extremely tired today... rushing for projects til 8.45pm in the sch library.. WTH??!! i've never been staying at sch til so late b4, and what's more, we're doing projects... those figures r driving us crazy... my head is going to burst, so headache... luckily maomao helped us a lot in those figures too.. thanks maomao aka horny aka HH.. haha.. she wont come to my blog and tagged, so i dun have to worry, my blog can be opened to be the forum of u and HH.. hahahahaha.. =x evil..... hahaha.. nvm la... =p

erm, went KFC for dinner after that, and had a great laughter.. on the way to the bus stop, me and serene were zhi dao, zhi yan that kind, then very funny lo... plus, peiwen's story bout maomao was so funny, especially the lift de.. was laughing til wanna cry le, but maomao was like chocking my neck (playing de la.. ^^) , so i pretend that i wont laugh at him, but i couldn't hold on, and i was trembling le.. hahaha... we gang up to bully him le...

hm... tomolo wil be going to east coast to had a great day of bursting out.. wanna shout out everything, everything that makes me sad, and troubled me... hope wil have a great day tomolo... plz, for this time, make it smooth for me to have a great day k? thanks...

gonna sleep le... too tired.. nitez!


current mood : touching

a few minutes ago, i was stil crying in the bathroom... sorry girls, guys... i tot i could take it, but actually i couldn't.. i juz cant let go.... he left me at the wrong time....
i started to feel uneasy in this house, and he juz left me like that.

but juz when i opened my tagboard page, i saw a lot of encouraging advises, a lot of my frens r actually alwiz standing by my side, helping me to stand up once again. thanks a lot frens, thanks peiwen, serene, yong hwee and paw.. thanks a lot... u girls and guys really rox my world.

hubby,
i alwiz loved u.. i never stop loving u for even a second, or less. no matter how many times u hurt me, no matter how many times u make my tears drop, i never counted on that, i forgive ur every mistake. i alwiz have been the one to give in, 
both ur mistake and my mistake, i give in. but do u know, everytime u ask y is it that u dun have competitor, it really breaks my heart.. y muz u hurt me so much? is it becuz u know that i love u more than u do in return? is it a mistake?

u really does bring a lot of joy, laughter and sweet memories to me. but dear, if i was to list out both sweet and sad, i think the sad moment is more... i've been hanging on in the far relationship for 2 years, and now when i'm here, u keep on breaking my heart. u really do not realise that? or u're ignoring it? is having a competitor in relationship that important? y is it my love life has to be so suffering? i couldn't take it anymore... i really couldn't... i duno if u wil suddenly come across my blog and read this, but i juz wanna say, i'm letting off... maybe after this, i wont step in into another relationship le, as my heart belongs to u forever. i love u... byez...


current mood : lost

ya, i'm lost... i duno what to do, i'm totally lost in space.. is love really so hard? y is it my love life had to be so suffering? i'm tired.... i've been hanging on for so long, and now, he requested it juz as cool as he is. perhaps... he's really too smart for me... i've tried all my best, but he juz cant see it. cant he feel it too? i'm so tired.. guys, is it really that important to have a competitor in ur relationship with ur gf? is beauty really that counts? if it's a yes for u, then sorry, i might not be the one. but i know what's great in me. i can really be loyal to my bf, that's the greatest advantage having me as gf.. LOL!! haha.. but sorry ye guys, might not consider another relationships anymore after this. i told yong hwee b4 too, if this relationship doesn't work for me, i wil not trust love anymore. i'm so hurt by the one i love most...

last 2 days (friday), we went for class outing, and i had my 1st-ever-neoprints!!! LOL! ya, quite embarrasing, this is only the 1st..  haha, but i like it a lot man!!! i look so nice in those pic!!! hahaha... erm, ya, bhb le...   =p

  nice right? hahaha... 4 of us look so cute in it.
 hehe, smile!!!!!
 hm... i look weird in this though... >.<
 love this pic the most!! hehe.. the autumn leave is so nice!

ya, that's 4 of us, peiwen, serene, lao da and me. thanks a lot girls! u all really brighten my days.. was so happy that day!

okie, that's last 2 days, am gonna blog bout today!!! early in the morning, i woke up with a NICE swallon eyes, had to wait til it looks not that obvious, and then went to the jurong east library to get my project done. gosh, ya, on sunday! but it was not a bad day today as i tot, i did enjoyed myself too, went to play bball with lao da, serene and peiwen, but as me and lao da played it for the 1st time, we look like dumb girls, hardly score anything. but lao da was better than me stil. though i tried very hard to aim it. haha.. wanna burst out in sum games, hope can feel better ba.

then after that game, here's the main event of the day, milubing's autograph session!!!!!!!!!! no no no, u cant imagine how feng and enthu i am, sam is so kawaii!!!!! he juz simply rox man!!! nick too! sam melts my heart by his smile, so sweet!!! and nick, i like him when he plays guitar! wow man, i was so high, but not as high as his crazy fans la, dint shout nor buy his album too.. >.<>hahahaha.. we support them mentally k? LOL!!!

i catched bout 35 photos, and 1 video of their song, lei 
(but my hp hangs during the last part.. wth  =.=")

finally, when they're bout to get into their van, heading to mediacorp i think, i was standing right in the front!!! hahahaha... hm, tot wanna catch a clear photo of them, but i think it would be better if i can at least give them a sweet smile, since i said i wil mentally support them.. =p

thus, i waited, and when they came out, i smile to sam, the 1st guy walking in front, he looked at me, but as he was walking too fast, he could juz grasp a second of my sweet smile. oh noooooooo.... but for that second i felt that my heart stops beating.. hahahaha... nvm then, nick the 2nd, but he was not looking at me... WTH!!! ok then, wei qi, i smiled, then he smiled back to me man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! argh!!! feng diao! he's not that bad looking though, he looks like a good guy, with a good and humble presonality. hahaha.. ya, 3 of them killed me today...

here r some of the photos, i couldn't upload til 35 of them, sorry.. hahaha!!!
 
sam's looking at my direction!!! =p
 sorry, stand quite far, u see, so to get it clearer and nearer, have to zoom, so it's so small now.. hahaha...
 was trying and waiting so long to get this pic! his fans keep blocking me... wth!! hahaha.... sam, u really kawaii man!!!! ^^
 
no....!!!! he didn't wave to me!!!! *sob sob*
 saw sam? that's the moment b4 he saw my sweet smile!!!

haha... guess that's all for today. hope i can get a nice rest tonight.. anne, juz stay as strong as u r... sort out ur feelings, u dun have to depend on guys to survive... u'll be extremely fine on ur own. hm, that's me giving advises to myself.. hahaha... no, i'm not mad yet.. hahaha!! bye!!!




current mood : happy!!

hm.. haha.. got a lot to blog today... was a very very tiring and busy day... as last night was rushing thru our IEF project, i slept bout 2 am, and could hardly woke up this morning. was so tired and sleepy.. met lao da and li wen at bus stop, then walk together with serene and peiwen to get our IEF project. we asked peiwen's fren to help us print. was walking around the sch, up and down.. gosh.. and i did not concentrate during the lecture today too.. hahaha.. was busy copying lao da's tutorial answers.. =x

once the lecture was ended, we rushed to the underpass, to meet our pizza suplier. yeah! it was my event management day today, but it seems to be like an entrepreneurship more than event management.. lol.. who cares... hahahaha...

quite a lot of things happen today. really need to thanks a lot of my frens... girls and guys.. u really rox!!! especially serene, thanks a lot girl.... u really help us a lot, especially during the beginning, where u help me to set up the stall... thanks girl!!

at 1st, i tot wanna be in charge of putting the pizzas into the paper box and boxes, and was ended up being a cashier, collecting and taking care of the money.. LOL.. was very fun though, pulling people to buy our pizzas, and taking down their orders... quite a few of my frens had come to support us! thanks a lot to those who patron at my stall today! hm.. yong hwee and paw, u guys really dint failed to come support me wor... although both of u also very irritating ah... hahaha.. thanks la ye!  and sorry to those who waited very long for the pizzas too.. nice pizzas, surely muz be patient in baking it.. LOL!!  x)

bout 4.20pm, we counted our pizzas, and found out that we left bout 20 more pizzas, and was quite worried bout it. cuz we're gonna to lose quite a lot, but we never gave up. we continue as usual, and i feel the god was helping me! everything changed in a sudden, and there was suddenly a lot of people putting down orders, and at last, we even earned a profit of $4!!!!!!!
erm, hahahaha... though it was juz a small amount, but i really enjoyed my day! thanks peiwen, kia leng, peixian and jin pei! u girls rox!!!! it had been a very long time since i could laughed so happily, and enjoyed myself that much.. projects were driving me crazy, and i hardly got some time to relax and enjoyed myself..

hm... hehehe.. gonna sleep early tonight... was so so tired... see ya all!